Conflict of interests

It is sometimes not easy to combine things that you like or find important. You may be interested in two or more things that may somewhat conflict with each other. Life is, of course, all about making choices but sometimes it is not either or. However unconventional, you may sometimes want to have both and.

I like to drink beer. I also like to paint my finger nails. If we disregard that one of those actions is more considered to be a matter of the guys and the other more suitable for gals, combinig the two can sometimes be a bit of a problem in practical terms.

As I was shopping yesterday, I thought that drinking some beer on Saturday (today) would be a good idea. I bought a generous amount and put those cans in the fridge over night. They are chilled and drinkable right now.

As it happens, I just felt like putting on some nail polish a moment ago. My nails are just dry enough at this moment to allow some careful typing, avoiding the top of the nails to accidentally touch the keyboard. But opening another can would definitely ruin my nails.

Unless I am going to find a tool that would open the can, I'll have to stay thirsty for another quarter of an hour or so. When it is safe to do so, I am going to open two or three cans, just to be on the safe side. My nails are going to need at least one more coat.

This is the harmless part of having conflicting interests. It is more serious when you would like to attract women as partners but at the same time look like one yourself. Looking like a woman would not be the best way to attract one.

Who would like to invent a tool that would open that beer can?

Happy birthday, Karen!

My kid sister Karen has birthday today. She is in my heart all the time.

Happy birthday, Karen!

Should I?

It has been as much of an "Indian Summer" in Helsinki as you could imagine this far up north. The daytime temperature on Saturday was 22 centigrade. That is as much or more than on many days in the summer.

Such an indian summer makes me have my windows and balcony doors open. I also wear a more summerly girlie clothing while at home. That is skirts and blouses more suitable for July than September.

I would also want to go out and feel the grace of the autumn throughout my legs, body and top. But the problem is that I am not the only person who has detected the mild weather conditions. Those bastards are also there who would detect that I am not the girl I would like to look like. And they would say out loud what they saw.

On a Saturday evening it would be too early to go out a quarter to midnight anyway. So I would have to wait for two or three hours as it were. I tried to go out at 3. a.m. last week but I had to turn back home because there were a lot more people out there than I thought.

What am I afraid of? Not that somebody would see that there is a man who wants to pass as a woman. But more like that some of my neighours would recognize the woman as me. That would be the hard part because it would force me to come out to them and I just do not feel like ready for that.

It has happened before that I have met persons whom I do not know while out en femme. Some of them have taken me as a girl while others may have read me. Nothing uncomfortable has happened but the key word is that those people have been total strangers. The option of my neighour seeing me as a girl would kill me.

And yet, I would like to go out there and enjoy the mild weather on an indian summer night. I could try to put on some extra make up but how far would that take me? If I were passable, I would pass with my comfortable make up. Putting on more of it would make me feel uncomfortable because that would not be the girl I am.

So ladies, any advise, please? I would appreciate both positive and negative feedback. Thank you.

Added: I did eventually go out at 4.45 a.m. On a weekday I would have been likely to see my next door neighbour to go to her work but on a Sunday morning the risk to bump into anybody was minimal. I did not go far this time, just walked around the house and sat down on a bench to smoke a cigarette.

The weather was warm enough so I did not wear a jacket. I felt terrific having the space to walk properly on my six inch heels. As for the make up, I just added some lipstick. A car actually went by but I think the driver was busy enough watching the road ahead and did not pay attention to me.

Silly how happy it made me to just walk out for ten minutes. That is actually how silly I am. ;-)